Our values reflect the essence of who we are.
Knowledge of our personal values requires us to look deep within ourselves and inquire about what truly matters most to us and what we want to stand for during this one, precious life. Our values guide our actions with intention and the inner wisdom of our hearts as we navigate and respond to the challenges we encounter along our life’s journey.
What Are Personal Values?
Most of us are aware that the term ‘value’ refers to something important. At least, this was my initial understanding before I began the task of uncovering my own values.
The Oxford dictionary defines ‘value’ as: ‘principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.’
Put simply: values are qualities of action; they are expressions of what matters to us.
Not everyone shares the same set of values. Values are qualities of being that are unique to each one of us. For instance, some of us value tradition, some value novelty. Since values are subjective, there is no such thing as having the ‘correct values.’ Other people don’t get to dictate what matters to us unless we allow them to.
A solid awareness of our personal values helps us prioritize what is important to us, how we want to spend our time and energy, and move through life with purpose.
Core And Aspirational Values
There are 2 types of values: core values and aspirational values. In a nutshell, our core values are essential; aspirational values are desired.
Core values: are likely to be present in more than one life domain, and they rarely subordinate to other values. For instance, if humor is one of your core values, your family members, friends, and co-workers are likely to describe you as a funny person.
Many of our core values come into being during childhood; they are an amalgamation of our individual disposition and the values internalized through our parents, culture, and personal experiences. Core values may become temporarily obscured during times of emotional struggle and loss; however, they are unlikely to change during the course of our lifetime.
Aspirational values: are qualities of action we desire to develop. They are the values that come to mind when we envision the best version of ourselves – our ideal self. They are qualities of character we might see in our role models, or people we look up to. These are the values we would possess if nothing stood in our way.
Aspirational values can be uncovered by your answers to the following questions: What do you want to stand for? What sort of person do you want to be? What strengths and qualities would you like to develop? What would you value if nothing stood in your way?
Now that I’ve explained what values are, I will clarify what they are not (obviously, one of my values is thoroughness!).
What Values Are Not
In my work as a therapist, I’ve observed that when I initially ask clients to identify their values, the responses most often reflect needs, virtues, ethics, morals, or goals. The definition of the word value share commonalities with these terms, and it is all too easy to confuse their meanings.
Values vs. Needs: Psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced the concept of a Hierarchy of Needs to illustrate his theory of human motivation. According to Maslow, people are motivated to satisfy basic needs before moving up the pyramid to meet higher level needs. Once a need is satisfied, it stops being a motivator of human behavior.
Maslow identified five levels of needs in a pyramid hierarchy: physiological (food, water, shelter), safety (security, stability, health), social belonging (love, relationships, community), esteem (self-acceptance, curiosity), and self-actualization (values, fulfillment, intellectual pursuits).
Notice that living our values is part of the highest order need: self-actualization! Values-congruent living requires us to meet our fundamental needs; otherwise, the qualities of our actions may be driven by our need for security, belonging, and approval. Thus, it is important for us to determine whether our behavior in any given moment is motivated by our values, or by unsatisfied needs.
Values vs. Virtues, Ethics, and Morals: These arise where values meet the judgment of our society and culture. However, personal values are beyond the realm of dichotomous categories such as good or bad, right or wrong. They are simply expressions of what matters to us as individuals.
Values vs. Goals: Most often, values are confused with goals; but these terms have very different meanings! This is not surprising given that today’s culture places more emphasis on the destination rather than the journey.
Goals are about what we want to get or achieve in the future, and they are often a means to an end. Goals can be checked off a list – we set them, accomplish them (or at least try to), and move on.
Values exist in the present and they are about how you want to behave on an ongoing basis. Psychotherapist and bestselling author, Dr. Russ Harris, metaphorically describes personal values as “similar to a compass: they guide our actions in the direction of our truth.”
When we clarify our values, we take an essential step toward creating a purposeful life. The more we choose to act in accordance with the values we hold dear, the more satisfied we are in our lives.
Hopefully this blog has provided you with a better understanding of personal values, the difference between core and aspirational values, and what values are not. In part two of this blog, I will discuss what it means to be disconnected from your values, and the steps to clarify your personal values.
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://powerwithincc.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Screen-Shot-2018-04-13-at-1.23.45-AM.png[/author_image] [author_info]Crystal earned a Bachelors Degree in Psychology and a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Central Florida. Crystal is committed to professional growth and expanding her knowledge. During her leisure time, she enjoys singing, traveling, yoga, meditation, and spending quality time with her family – including her two dogs and two cats.[/author_info] [/author]
