Changing Self Talk in 4 Steps

Cheryl Cyr August 31, 2021August 31, 20213 min read

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What if you were offered a coach who could see you through every tough challenge you faced? What if someone was always there with an encouraging word, to bolster your courage and build you up? Someone who knows you better than any other person in the world and still thinks you’re terrific? Someone who sees only the success you can be, and never brings up the past or criticizes unfairly?

Now, what if I told you this someone is already there, in your life, waiting to be heard? Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? There’s only one catch: You have to drop the negativity and make your self-talk your ally, not your enemy.

Read on to discover 4 steps to do just that:

Pay Attention to the Dialogue
You can’t change what you don’t understand. The first step is to start paying attention to the things you tell yourself. What kinds of things are you saying? Are there pet phrases? Do you seem more negative after certain triggers? Where are the sticking points you come back to again and again?

Learn to Tune Things Out
By listening, we allow negativity free rent on space in our heads. It’s better just to acknowledge what’s being said and making the choice to not allow it to become part of who we are. The more you make a big deal out of it, the more you’re giving it room to grow. Instead tell yourself, “OK, this is there. Who cares?” You are not obligated to live in another persona negativety, or to take it on as your own.

Find Your Phrase
Here’s where you get to create your go-to phrase. Make it a good one, as you’re going to get a lot of mileage out of it. Even something simple like “You’ve got this” can pack a positive punch. Pick something that makes you feel good when you hear it. Insert this into your dialogue as needed.

Remind Yourself to Focus
The problem with negative self-talk is it’s so distracting. When you catch it happening, call yourself back to what you’re doing. If it helps, even saying the word “Focus” out loud can be helpful to get your attention back where it needs to be. There’s no room for negativity in that kind of concentration.

When we engage in positive self-talk, this inner dialogue becomes an ally like no other. You open yourself to growth and change. You discover a world of possibilities and as a result, accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

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Cheryl Cyr August 31, 2021August 31, 20214 min read

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3 Steps to Boosting Your Confidence by Changing Your Self-Talk

Cheryl CyrUpdated on August 29, 2021August 22, 20213 min read

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Imagine this scenario:

Work doesn’t feel satisfying. You don’t feel like you’ve been getting enough responsibility at work. You’d like to prove you’re capable of more, perhaps get a promotion. But you don’t say anything. You hope your boss will somehow magically understand and be the first to bring it up.

Or try this:

You’ve been interested in a certain someone for a long time. So far, you’ve been content to watch from afar. You find yourself wistfully thinking about how nice it would be if they noticed you if they said hello. You wait, silently, not far away and wonder if you’ll ever catch their eye.

If either of these scenarios sounds familiar, it might be you’re needing a substantial boost in your self-confidence. Confidence is what takes us from the world of wishful thinking over into action. Confidence starts a conversation. Confidence gives you the impetus to stand up and say what’s on your mind.

The problem with self-confidence is it tends to stem from your self-talk. What you tell yourself dictates how you’re feeling about yourself. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, you’re going to struggle with feeling confident enough to approach a difficult situation. After all, if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect the world to?

You can change these scenarios. You start with changing your self-talk in three easy steps.

Start Listening

When you really pay attention to what you’re saying you might be surprised. Most of us tune out the words we say most often because we’ve heard them so many times before. You might be amazed at just how negative some of those thoughts are.

Verify What’s True, and What Isn’t

The question then becomes, just which of these statements are true, and which ones aren’t. What evidence do you have of this? Don’t be afraid to become an investigator. For example, are you always late? Check and find out. Our minds are very good at blowing things out of proportion.

Rephrase What’s Being Said

If you don’t like the answers you’re getting in the previous step, it’s time to rephrase what you’re saying. Replace outright lies with positive truths. Turn statements around into questions that seek out solutions.

By being mindful of your self-talk, you’ll find your confidence growing exponentially. You’ll feel better about yourself, and more courageous in being able to express your feelings, with the expectation that someone else will want to listen to what you’re saying. After all, when you like you, how can anyone else resist?

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How To Physically, Mentally And Spiritually  Get Through Cancer Treatment

Cheryl CyrUpdated on August 29, 2021March 17, 20194 min read

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Written by Scott Sanders

With a recorded 1,688,780 new cases in 2017, cancer continues to be the second-leading cause of death in the United States after heart disease. The good news is that the mortality rate has decreased over the past two years, while the five-year survival rate has increased by 20-24 percent (depending on race) over the past three decades. Along with any applicable innovations in cancer care, there are several steps one should take in an effort to boost their physical, mental and spiritual health during treatment.

Monitor your mental health
It’s key to have a grasp of your mental health in order to get through the physical aspect. Of course, when you’re scared, anxious, depressed and feeling awful, it can be difficult to embrace the “attitude is everything” mantra. To get around this mental roadblock, some psychologists suggest using The Athlete’s Way — eight tips that help with getting through a physical, mental, and spiritual challenge like cancer.

Mind over matter: Success relies more on your mind and spirit than your body.
Stay in the present tense: Do your best in the exact moment your living — don’t pressure yourself about what’s to come.
Annihilate self-doubt: Practice saying “I can” about everything you are experiencing feelings of doubt.
Personify adversity: Give cancer a nickname and then go tell it to get lost. Trash talking cancer in the third person is actually a popular coping method.
Embrace the love and goodwill of others: Love is perhaps the most powerful drug. It can get people through the darkest of moments, cancer included.
Adopt the theory of relativity: Once you hit rock bottom with your health, stay conscious of the moments when you’re feeling better.
Laughing and crying have the same release: Both emotional outlets are cathartic, though laughing can be a challenge during treatment. If the moment strikes, however, embrace it.
Happiness is a decision: Making a conscious effort to have a positive attitude is a job in itself, but remember that cynicism will drain your energy and make it easier to give up.

Take extra measures during chemo
One of the best things you can do for yourself while going through chemo is to try and retain as much normalcy in your life as possible, which includes partaking of usual hobbies and getting doctor-approved exercise and fresh air. Speaking of fresh air, you should also address the quality of the air inside your home, as it’s often not as clean as you’d think (a good MERV 8 air filter can help eliminate most of these pollutants from the indoor air). It’s also important to get plenty of rest and eat nutritious foods to ensure you’re getting enough protein and calories to make new, healthy cells that were destroyed during treatment.

Don’t dismiss spirituality
Studies have proven that spiritual wellness can aid in the success rate of a treatment program. It can increase feelings of hope; reduce anxiety, stress and anger; enhance the quality of life; and help with the trauma of diagnosis and treatment. Spiritual wellness is considered anything from practicing meditation and yoga to regular prayer or joining a support group through your church. If spirituality is important to you, be sure to address it with your care team or doctor so you can be connected to special advisors and/or pastoral staff.

Addiction prevention
Because opioids have a reputation for being addictive, many cancer patients aren’t getting the proper pain relief they need because they’re scared. However, doctors are aware that they need to make sure the patient understands the risk factors associated with overuse while instituting a multidisciplinary care program that can have safe and effective results.

Between the mental, physical and emotional side effects, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to getting through cancer. Sometimes the mental aspect can be more trying than the physical. This is why it’s important to have a well-rounded treatment program that addresses your mind, body, and soul — even when you’re in remission.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Scott Sanders of cancerwell.org

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